


How To Fuck Up A Field Trip: A Step-By-Step Guide

by Sunshine_3



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Civil War Fix-It, Field Trip, Fluff, Gen, Post-Civil War, Prank Wars, post-Spider-Man homecoming
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-04-07 09:03:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19081849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshine_3/pseuds/Sunshine_3
Summary: When Peter Parker discovers that his class is taking a trip to the Avengers Compound, he’s a little apprehensive. Not only is he worried about Mr. Stark embarrassing him, but the trip will give Flash plenty of time to bully him. When the Avengers find out about the trip, (and exactly who is going on it) they decide to have some fun with their newest recruit. Soon the friendly pranks get out of hand, and chaos ensues, leaving Tony Stark with even more grey hairs than he started with.





	1. Step 1: Take the Permission Slip

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so this is my first fic, and I’m just writing it for fun. I wanted to read some field trip fanfics but couldn’t find to many, so I decided to write one myself. Talk about extra. :) This is based after the events of Homecoming and Civil War, but in a universe where they dissolved the Accords and the Team managed to patch things up. I hope anyone reading this enjoys it, and please give me feedback so I can improve my writing! Enjoy!

It was a Friday. Peter stared at the clock, watching as the hands moved in lazy circles. With a sigh, his head fell forwards onto the table with a muffled thump. The day had been stretching on for eternity. His eagerness to begin patrol was overwhelming, and only served to lengthen the mundane hours spent in class. Not only that, but it was nearly the weekend. Weekends meant time spent upstate at the Compound with Mr. Stark, and time spent working on his suit. At this rate, however, he was going to die of boredom in Physics class before he even had the chance to think about working with the new web shooter design Mr. Stark had come up with.

Peter turned his head to the side, and glanced at the clock again. Still 20 minutes left. He held back a groan, and began to roll his pencil on the desk. Ned shifted next to him, attention momentarily caught by the clicking noise that accompanied Peter’s fidgeting. Ned was looking only slightly more engaged than himself, but he was still managing to focus onto the words coming from the front of the room. The teacher had been rambling for a while, but Peter had stopped paying attention long ago. His mind drifted between patrol, the workshop, and his suit. It was only when a sheet of paper landed in front of him that he finally perked up. 

Peter glanced down at the paper, taking a couple seconds to focus on the words in front of him. It was a permission slip, and one that Peter wasn’t particularly interested in comprehending at the moment. Ignoring the excited murmurs floating about the room, his mind drifted back to patrol. Because it was a Friday, he would have to make his rounds quick. Friday was when he hung out with MJ and Ned. He had ditched last week to stop a robbery, and MJ would murder him out if he skipped again. He was so focused on plotting his path for patrol that he didn’t notice everyone packing up until Ned nudged him.

“You ok, Peter?” Ned asked, looking a bit concerned. Peter’s head whipped up to face him. 

“Huh?” He mumbled, trying to organize his drifting thoughts. “Oh, yeah. I’m fine dude. Just zoned out for a minute. Sorry.” Ned stood by his desk, waiting. Everyone else had already left. Peter scrambled to his feet and rapidly gathered his books, paying no attention to the permission slip now crammed into the bottom of his backpack. He pulled his bag onto his shoulder, and they left the classroom together. 

Ned instantly began to blabber. “Are you excited for the field trip? I can’t wait, it’s gonna be so cool! Too bad we have to wait till next week though. Maybe not, because then you get to savor it more, you know? I wonder if MJ’s class is going too. I hope so. But that would mean more of Flash’s annoying friends would be there, which sucks. Hey, you’re coming over to my house tonight, right?” 

Peter hadn’t really been paying attention, and didn’t notice that Ned had asked him a question until he looked over at his friend, who was staring at him expectantly. 

“What?” said Peter. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention again. Must be tired I guess.” He shrugged, and as if to prove his his point, released a massive yawn. 

Ned just shook his head, laughing. “I asked if you were coming over tonight. Although, you should probably take a nap first. MJ will kill you if you fall asleep during movie night again.” Peter simply nodded in response. “She said she’s bring caramel popcorn this time, and my mom said we could order an Everything pizza again.”

“As long as there’s no pineapple this time.” Peter gave an exaggerated shiver of disgust. “Pineapple on pizza is a sin.” 

Ned pointed an accusatory finger at him. “It’s just fruit. If anything, ketchup is a million times worse. I don’t complain about you.” 

Peter pushed the finger out of his face, laughing. “Come on man! It was one time! That doesn’t count.” He grinned wider. “Besides, a tomato is a fruit, so technically...” 

Ned scoffed. “Peter, that is not even close to the same thing and you know it.” Peter chuckled. They had reached the front door of the school, and together they walked out into the sunshine. It was a mild day, and the perfect weather for patrolling the city. Peter glanced at his watch, and the urgency to get to his superhero duties swept over him again. 

“Hey, Ned, I gotta go man. I promise I’ll make to movie night though.” He tugged on his backpack strap impatiently, and spun on his heels to march in the direction of the nearest hiding spot. He was itching to put on his suit. 

Ned just shrugged. “Ok Peter, whatever. Just show up ok? It’s boring without you.” He leaned in close before Peter could get too far away. “Be careful, Spider-Man.” He whispered.

Peter grinned at him. “When am I not?”

——————— 

Peter rolled onto his back, groaning. His ribs ached, and he knew he was going to have a couple new bruises. He had tried to interfere with a mugging, and it hadn’t gone over well. Apparently angry criminals only become angrier when you start throwing puns at them. Peter mentally noted to work on keeping his mouth shut in the future. He struggled to sit up, and braced himself against the edge rooftop he had retreated to. Everything hurt. Gingerly, he brought a hand up to his face and peeled back his mask to assess the damage. The skin around his eye was already swollen, and he hissed a little as his fingers caught in a cut on his cheek. Peter slumped, allowing the cool concrete to soothe some of the ache in his back.

“Hey Karen?”

**Yes Peter?**

“What time is it?” He massaged the side of his head, attempting to dull the pressure building at his temples. It didn’t do much.

**It is currently 6:43 pm.**

“Shit.” Peter let his head fall back against the low wall with a soft thump. He had to be at Ned’s house in 47 minutes. Even with his super metabolism, there’s no way his soon-to-be-black-eye would heal in time. Ned was unobservant enough that Peter would be able to avoid any questions from him, but there was no possible was MJ wouldn’t pry. He would have to steal May’s concealer again. _Maybe if this superhero thing doesn’t work out, I can be a beauty guru on YouTube. I’ve spent enough time with makeup now as it is. Might as well get payed for it._ He laughed quietly to himself at the thought.

**What’s so funny Peter?**

Peter startled, having nearly forgotten about his AI. He waved a hand dismissively.

“Oh, nothing.” He paused, thinking. “Hey, can you plan me the fastest route home? I need to get back there so I have time to get ready to go to Ned’s.”

**Sure thing, Peter.**

“Thanks Karen.” With a quiet groan, Peter dragged himself to his feet. He tugged his mask back over his face and stepped to the edge of the roof.

**Route complete.**

Peter swung off the edge of the building.

————————

Peter knocked on Ned’s door, and swiped the still damp curls out of his forehead. The door opened, and he was greeted by a scowling Michelle. 

“You’re late.”

He held up his hands in a gesture of defense. “I know, I know. I’m sorry. But hey, I’m here, right?” MJ just looked at him, as if deciding whether or not to actually let him in. She stepped aside. Peter set down his backpack, and quickly slipped off his grubby Nike’s. “Where’s Ned?”

“He’s in the living room taking forever to pick out a damn movie.” MJ looked closer at him. “Hey, what’s up with your eye?”

Peter sighed. The bruising must be more obvious than he thought, despite his efforts to cover it up. “Nothing, I just tripped on the stairs and hit my head on the railing.” _Yeah right Parker, that’s really believable._ He nearly winced at how pathetic the excuse sounded. MJ raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. She turned and marched toward the living room. Peter followed close behind. When they entered the room, Ned looked up from the pile of movies he was sitting in.

“Hey, you’re here!” He struggled to stand without smashing any of the plastic cases littering the floor, but then decided against it. Ned held up two cases. “Peter, you decide, because MJ isn’t any help. Jaws or Aliens?”

Peter sunk into the couch with a groan. “Umm, I think Aliens. We haven’t watched that one in a while.” Ned nodded, and tossed the Jaws disc into the mess on the floor. 

MJ collapsed onto the couch next to Peter, holding a massive tub of caramel popcorn. His stomach rumbled, and reached out a hand to grab some. MJ leaned out of his reach. 

“Hey!” Peter protested.

MJ popped a sticky handful into her mouth. “Late people don’t get any,” she garbled through the mouthful. Peter slumped back into the couch, dejected. She rolled her eyes. “I’m just kidding. No need to be a baby about it.” She picked up the tub and placed it on the couch between them. Ned stood up from putting the disc in the DVD player. 

“My mom just ordered the pizza, so it should be here soon.”

“Cool,” Peter said, excited by the idea of pizza. He was always starving by the end of patrol, and he hadn’t eaten anything in his rush to get to Ned’s.

The movie began to play, and Ned settled in on the couch next to Peter. There was a comfortable silence between the three of them, only broken by the sounds of the movie and a few bits of whispered conversation. They only paused the movie when the pizza came, and decided to finish eating it before resuming the film. 

“I wouldn’t be able to hear over the sound of Ned’s chewing anyway.” remarked MJ. Peter glanced over at Ned, who was completely captivated by the slice in his hands. He let out a low chuckle.

“Hey MJ,” Ned spoke up, oblivious to their teasing. “Is your class going on the field trip too?”

Peter looked up from his plate. “What field trip?”

Ned looked over at him, confused. “The one Mr. Harrington told us about in class today, remember?” It took a moment for Peter to recall any of class that afternoon, but finally remembered something about a permission slip. 

“Oh yeah, that thing. I think I have the permission slip in my back, I’ll go get it.” He stood up from the couch and made his way to the front door. He could still hear most of the conversation as he rifled through the books, looking for the discarded piece of paper.

“Yeah, Ms. Warren is taking us too,” MJ drawled. “That means I have to spend a whole day with you losers. Lucky me.” 

Peter finally found the permission slip at the bottom of his bag, looking a little crumpled, but otherwise fine. “Found it!” He called, making his way back over to the living room. Sitting back down on the couch, he attempted to smooth the paper until it was legible again. Peter skimmed the first few lines, looking for any actual information about the trip. He got about halfway down the page and froze, his attention caught on a familiar logo on the bottom of the page. _Is that?..._ He barely noticed the conversation, focus solely on the page in front of him.

“...it’s not like Peter would be super interested about it Ned, he’s already been there a hundred times.”

“Yeah, but it’s the Avenger’s Compound! And Tony Stark! Who wouldn’t be excited?”

“Maybe someone who’s already met the man? Honestly Ned, that pizza has completely blocked anything remotely logical from coming out of your mouth.”

Peter ignored them, a million different thoughts rushing through his head as he stared at the Stark Industries logo on the permission slip in front of him. _There’s no way..._ His hand fumbled for his phone, quickly clicking on the contact at the top of the list.

**Peter Parker: Sent at 8:16 PM**  
Uh, Mr. Stark?


	2. Step 2: Tell Your Family About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds out about the field trip, and tells the others. Clint and Sam have already begun scheming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So first of all, thank you everyone who read this and left comment and Kudos! I honestly didn’t expect this to get as much attention as it did, but I love y’all for that. Anyways, here’s the next chapter. Its a little short, but I couldn’t think of anything else to add. It’s kinda a mess, but it was fun to write. I actually laughed while writing this. My sense of humor sucks. Anyway. I tried my best to capture the characters, but idk. :/ Oh well. Hope you guys like it!

Tony rolled his shoulders, trying to work out the kinks at the base of his neck. He wasn’t sure how long he had spent cooped up in his workshop, but judging by the stiffness in his muscles, it had been quite a while. He sighed and ran a hand down his face. Absentmindedly, a hand drifted over to his coffee mug, hoping to make up for the sleep he had been avoiding all night. These hopes were quickly dashed when he lifted the mug, only to find a few drops clinging to the bottom. He sighed again. Stumbling, Tony made his way over to the small kitchen in the corner of the workshop and began to brew a fresh pot. 

He slumped against the counter, waiting. All of a sudden, a faint clanging noise resounded from the edge of the workshop, near the glass door that lead to the elevator bank. Tony cocked his head, listening. Another muffled bang echoed through the space, soon followed by a string of muted curses. Tong relaxed again, and turned his face towards the ceiling. He waited a second for the racket to die down before speaking.

“Barton, get your ass out of the vents or I swear to god I will track down Romanoff and send her in after you.” 

The coffee maker beeped, and Tony turned to grab a fresh mug from the cupboard. 

“In my defense,” came the muted reply from somewhere over Tony’s head, “Rhodes sent me in here.”

Tony stopped pouring the coffee, incredulous. He turned toward the general direction of Clint’s voice. “ _Rhodey_ told you to break a hole in my wall so you could clamber around in the air vents like a cockroach? Sorry Barton, but I find that a little hard to believe.”

There was hesitation on Clint’s behalf, and Tony returned to the vital task of getting himself some damn coffee before he fell asleep standing up. Finally, Clint broke the silence. 

“Well, he didn’t exactly tell me to go in the vents. But he wanted me to come get you and force you out of your cave for some breakfast with the team.”

Tony shook his head and pointed to the front wall of the shop, despite the fact that Clint wasn’t able to see him. “You know what I’m standing right next to? A door. Why couldn’t you just use that like a civilized person?” He picked up his coffee and made his way through the cluttered space, trying not to spill. 

“Last time Rhodes sent Sam down here, you locked him in the elevator for an hour. I wasn’t about to suffer the same fate, Stark. Do you know how awful the music you have playing in those things is?”

Tony set the mug down on the least messy desk, and picked up some papers Pepper had given him. Something about needing his approval for letting some people in the Compound? His foggy brain couldn’t remember if he tried. He glanced them over, not really bothering to try and understand them. Dropping the papers with a sigh, he took a sip of his coffee. Tony nearly choked when the scalding liquid burned the back of his throat. “Whatever, cockroach,” he croaked, trying not to cough. “Just don’t let Friday catch you again or I’ll invent Raid for humans.” 

A low chuckle reverberated through the ceiling, and Tony listened to the bangs and curses that signified Clint’s retreat. He settled back into his chair, ready to get back to work, only to find the little concentration he had been clinging to had dissipated. He leaned back in his chair, thoughtful. 

“Maybe some breakfast wouldn’t be a terrible idea. Lock up after me, would’da Fri?” 

**Sure thing, Boss.**

———————

Tony walked into the large common area of the compound, and calmly took in the chaos overtaking the space. Sam and Steve were at the counter, Steve’s face buried in what Tony assumed to be the most boring section of the newspaper. Wilson was slowly mowing his way through a large stack of pancakes. Bruce was over in the corner, focused intently on the tablet in his lap. There were multiple coffee mugs on the table next to him, evidence that Bruce had been there a while. Nat was sitting by the window, reading. Rhodey looked up from his own plate of food, and nodded at Tony, noting his presence with approval. Barnes, Wanda, and Barton were nowhere in sight. 

Tony made his way over to the coffee maker, snatching a blueberry muffin from the large spread of food on his way. He started a fresh pot and leaned against the counter, nibbling at his muffin. He had been making a lot of coffee lately. Sam got up from his place at the counter to grab some more food. Bruce startled when Sam let out an indignant yell.

“Hey! What jackass took the entire plate of bacon?!” 

Steve mumbled something resembling “language” from behind his paper. Someone chuckled quietly. Tony looked up from the remains of his muffin, scanning the room. He found the perpetrator sitting on top of the fridge, the plate of bacon cradled in his lap.

“Damn it Barton, get off my fridge.” Clint just stared at him, slowly munching on another piece. Tony scowled, crossing his arms. First the vents, now this. Honestly, the man was a menace. “Seriously bird-brain, down. Now.”

Clint crammed the remaining bits of the bacon piece in his mouth. “Sorry can’t hear you!” Clint said, practically yelling. “I seem to have lost my hearing aids!”

The coffee beeped, and Tony turned around, doing his best to ignore Clint. He grabbed a mug and poured a cup, the steaming liquid somewhat improving his mood. 

Meanwhile, Sam had grabbed a stool and was now trying to wrestle the plate of bacon away from Clint. There was a loud thump, quickly followed by a shattering noise as Sam toppled off of the chair, flinging the plate across the room. Steve looked up from his newspaper, staring at the the chunks of bacon now littering the floor.

“Really guys?” He deadpanned.

The only response was Sam’s pained groan from the floor. Clint was cackling from the the top of the fridge. Everyone watched him, amused, as he laughed so hard that he rolled right off the edge. Tony sighed, trying to hide his smirk from behind the lip of his mug. As much as he pretended to be annoyed, he was glad to see everyone back together again, happy. The Accords had made a mess of his team, and cleaning things up hadn’t been an easy feat. His relationship with Steve and his pal Bucky was still a little rocky, but they had managed to patch things up for the sake of the group. And it was nice, seeing them all together again. He had missed this. Tony made his way to the table, careful to step over the mess of limbs covering the kitchen floor. Bacon crunched underneath his feet. The coffee mug landed on the table with a loud clatter, and Tony slid into the seat next to Rhodey. Tony looked at the mess on the floor.

“Hey Fri, call a janitor up here later to mop up the mess these idiots made in here.”

**On it, Boss.**

Nat finally looked up from her book, a small smile on her face. “I don’t think that’s necessary Tony.” She made a small gesture with her hand, pointing towards the kitchen. “Clint seems to be handling the situation himself.”

They looked over to where Clint was still lying on the floor. Sure enough, he had begun to eat the pieces that he could reach without having to move. 

Rhodey shook his head. “That’s disgusting dude.”

Clint ignored them, happily munching on his floor food. Tony pulled out his phone, opening up the screen to find more notifications than he was used to. Considering Peter now had his personal number, that was hard to accomplish. He realized the ones from Peter were from last night, and a split second of fear flashed through his gut. What if the kid was in distress, and Tony missed his texts? Then again, Karen or Friday would have alerted him, and the kid normally called during an emergency. He calmed down a bit. He decided to open the texts from Pepper first, wanting to put off trying to decipher the mess of texts Peter had sent him.

**Pepper Potts: Sent at 7:43 AM**  
Please remember to look over those documents I gave you.  
It’s a lot more work to approve the field trip without your help.  
And yes, you have to actually read them.  
I’ll see you tonight.

Tony frowned, confused. Field trip? His mind flashed back to the papers on his desk. Must be what they were about. Oh well, he’d figure it out later. With a quick swipe, he opened up the texts from Peter. There were a lot of them. Like, a _lot._

**Peter Parker: Sent at 8:16 PM**  
Uh, Mr. Stark?  
So there’s this permission slip thing  
It says we have a field trip  
But like to the compound  
And our whole class is going  
I’m kind of freaking out  
What if they see that I’m Spider-Man or someone recognizes me and my cover is blown and then I’ll basically just have to die  
Please text me back  
I’m really freaking out  
Like actually I think I’m having a heart attack

Tony raised an eyebrow. The kid rambled even without speaking out loud. Tony leaned forward in his seat, thinking. He typed a quick command into his phone, and Friday opened up a holographic scan of the papers in front of him. Rhodey glanced over at him, curious. Tony’s eyes skimmed over the papers, and the slightly confusing texts were starting to make better sense. Pepper had given him a copy of the permission Peter must’ve been talking about, and a couple forms for him to sign stating that he was ok with interacting with the students. 

“Huh,” he said quietly, tilting back in his chair. 

“What’s up?” inquired Rhodes.

“Apparently, Pepper organized a field trip here. Some kids from Midtown Tech are coming next week.” 

Sam came over to the table, abandoning his previous spot at the counter.. “Wait, you’re saying there’s a bunch of kids coming _here_?”

Bruce looked up from his tablet, his interest piqued. “Midtown Tech? Isn’t that the school that Peter goes to?”

“Yup,” Tony replied to both of them, popping the p as he said it. 

Sam nearly looked offended. “Spider-midget and all his friends are going to be here? Aw, hell no.”

Clint finally sat up off of the floor. “Come on Sam, it’s not that bad. If anything, it’ll be fun.” He had a maniacal glint in his eye, and it made Tony wary. As much as he’d like to have fun with the kid, he knew he’d be in deep shit with Pepper if anything drastic happened. He pointed an accusatory finger at Clint.

“You will not be anywhere near the group, Barton. My legal team already has enough to deal with as it is.”

Clint held a hand to his chest, pretending to be shocked. “Who? _Me_?” He said, feigning innocence.

Rhodey rolled his eyes. Steve chuckled, amused by the interaction. Tony looked around the room.

“The same goes for the rest of you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have better things to do than babysit.” 

Tony stood up from the table, dusting off a couple muffin crumbs clinging to his shirt. He grabbed his coffee mug and headed over to the sink, pouring it’s cooled contents down the drain. Tony left the room, and Rhodey followed close behind. Slowly, the rest of the Avengers filtered out of the room, doing their best to avoid the bacon littering the floor. Sam made his way over to Clint.

“You’re not planning on actually listening to him, right?”

Clint looked over at him, incredulous. “Of course not. Who do you think I am? Rogers?” 

Sam grinned. “Got any ideas?”

A mischievous smile crept over Clint’s face. “Plenty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go! I’ll try to get the next part done as soon as I can, but I start working tomorrow, so I can’t promise much. It’s just a couple hours, but I’m terrible with time management as it is. The actual field trip will start in the next chapter. Also, I may include Bucky and Wanda even though I wasn’t intending to, simply because they’re fun and I like them. Thanks for reading my crazy fic, and feel free to give me suggestions or feedback, I really appreciate it!


	3. Step 3: Show Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter wakes up on the day of the field trip, and he’s definitely not looking forward to going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys I just wanna say I’m so, so sorry for not updating this sooner. I got the idea for my other fic and got distracted, and then I was too lazy to write, and then I found some good fics to read and wanted to look at those instead... Anyway, sorry for taking forever to update. I know where I’m going for the next chapter though (mostly) so I should have it much sooner than I did this one. It’s a little long and kind of just setting up the plot, but I hope it’s not terribly boring. :) P.S. Thank you guys so much for the Kudos and comments, you’re all wonderful.

An alarm echoed through the dim bedroom. Peter groaned and rolled over, one hand fumbling in the dark for the off button. He slapped a hand across his night stand, successfully swiping the majority of the small table’s contents on the floor. His fingers finally found the button and the shrill noise cut off, to the great relief of Peter’s sensitive ears. He had just rolled over and buried his face in his pillow-five more minutes never hurt anyone-when the door to his room slammed open, filling the room with light. May stood in the doorway with a hand on her hip.

“Peter, you’re going to be late. Get up, sweetheart.”

Peter groaned in response. His bed was so _comfy_.

“Peter, come on kiddo.”

Nothing. 

May sighed, and made her way towards the bed, carefully navigating through the chaos that was Peter’s floor. He hadn’t been the cleanest of people to begin with, but lately it had gotten even worse. His clothes were all over the floor, and there was paper bits and granola bar wrappers mixed in as well. She reached the bed without incident and pulled the covers back from Peter’s head, effectively blinding him.

Peter flung an arm over his face, burying his eyes into the crook of his elbow in a vain attempt to block out the light.

“Just a couple more minutes May. _Please_?”

May smiled down at her nephew, unable to contain her amusement. She poked his shoulder, and when that elicited no response, pried his arm off of his face.

“You can’t be late sweetheart, I have work. So unless you want to walk all the way to school, you better get your butt out of bed.”

“Ok ok, I’ll get up,” Peter grumbled.

May stooped down to give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“I made chocolate-chip pancakes, so you better be hungry.”

Despite his annoyance with being woken up, Peter grinned. “That’s great May, thank you.”

She waved a hand over her shoulder, dismissing his thanks as she left the room. “Just don’t let them get cold.” She shut the door, only to poke her head back in a second or so later. “And when you get the chance, maybe clean up your room. It’s a war zone in here.”

Peter dragged himself out of bed after a brief struggle with his tangled blankets. He trudged into the bathroom and scrubbed a hand over his face, attempting to gain some sort of mental clarity. May would be annoyed if he fell asleep in the shower again.

After a brief escapade in the bathroom, Peter pulled on a T-shirt,(with a science pun, of course) some jeans, and threw a hoodie on over top. He made sure to tame down his hair, because it was extra messy today and he didn’t need to deal with MJ’s teasing. He sat down at the kitchen table, and May handed him a plate of steaming pancakes before plopping down across from him. She sipped her coffee as he shoveled the food into his mouth.

May glanced down at her watch, a slight frown creasing her features when she took in the time. “You almost done there, sweetheart? We really should get going.”

Peter nodded, gulping down the last few bites. “Yeah, just gotta brush my teeth and grab my backpack and stuff.” He scrambled to his feet, and dashed around the apartment, snatching books off of the coffee table, papers from his desk, and the scattered pencils from throughout the place. He crammed it all into his backpack and scrambled into the bathroom, brushing his teeth and sprinting back out to where May was waiting by the front door.

“All good to go!” He announced, shouldering his backpack. 

May looked up from double checking that everything was in her purse. “Are you going to your internship this afternoon?”

Peter looked at her, confused. “Yeah, why?”

She smiled at him. “Do you have your badge? You almost always forget it, and I won’t be able to get it for you. Happy won’t be too pleased if he has to drive all the way back here from the Compound.”

Peter shuddered at the idea of an even grumpier Happy. “I think it’s on my night stand, gimme a sec.” He dashed into his room and emerged a couple seconds later, the lanyard with his badge raised over his head in triumph. “Found it!”

May jingled her keys. “Let’s go slowpoke!” She teased, coat on and already in the hall.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Peter protested, picking up his pace a little as he passed her. 

They made their way to the car and May pulled away from the curb, only a few minutes late. Peter decided to take that as a win.

They drove in relative silence, but it was a comfortable one. They were nearly at the school when May spoke up. 

“Do you have anything interesting at school today? Or is it just a regular old seven hours in a desk while Ned talks your ear off?” 

Peter laughed. “As far as I know, it’s the second one.” 

The car pulled up to the curb, stopping in front of the doors. After giving May a quick kiss on the cheek, Peter hopped out and noticed that there were a couple buses parked near the main entrance. _That’s weird_ , he thought. _The buses usually unload near the back of the school._

He didn’t put too much thought into it though, and made his way into the building. He stopped at his locker and began to put away most of his text books, waiting for Ned to show up. He slid his chemistry book onto the top shelf, avoiding the crumpled papers and old snack wrappers. Apparently, Peter’s messiness was not contained within his bedroom.

“Peter!”

And there Ned was, as per usual.

“Hey man, are you excited? I can’t believe this is actually happening!”

Peter stopped unloading his bag and turned to Ned, confused. “What? What’s happening?”

Ned looked at Peter incredulously, mouth flipped open. “What’s happening? Only the greatest thing in our lives up until this point! Peter, the field trip is today. You know, the one to the freaking _Avengers Compound_?”

Peter’s head spun. The field trip? That wasn’t supposed to be today. The trip was on Wednesday. It was only...today was...today _was_ Wednesday. Damn it. Peter sighed. His day had actually been going well for once.

“Peter? Are you ok?”

“Fine Ned. Just not really in the mood for a trip today, ya know?”

Ned looked at him funny, seemingly unable to comprehend the fact that someone didn’t want to go to to the _Avengers Compound_ , of all places. “Why not?”

Peter sighed, dumping everything in his locker. If the trip was today, he really wouldn’t need most of his stuff. Maybe just a notebook or something. (There was no way he was leaving the bag behind, his suit was in there.) “Because, Ned. I’m not in the mood to deal with Flash’s teasing about the internship, much less any crap the team is gonna give me if they know I’m there. Considering the fact that Mr. Stark already knows about the trip, there is no possible way I’m going to make it out of there without some sort of incident.”

Ned seemed to consider this for a moment. He shrugged. “That’s fair.” Ned paused to think again, glee suddenly taking over his features. “Wait, if you’re worried about the Avengers embarrassing you, they’d have to be near us. What if we see them! Omg I might meet an actual Avenger! This is gonna be amazing. Peter, I think I’m going to die if I see one of them in person.”

Peter groaned, slamming his locker door closed. “Then let’s hope we don’t.”

The first warning bell rang, and the friends made their way to Mr. Harrington’s room for attendance.

———————

The bus ride to the Compound took forever. Between Ned’s constant babbling, the heat of the bus and the bumping of the road, Peter was beginning to lose it. Flash wasn’t exactly helping things either.

“Penis!” He hissed, leaning in the isle towards the seat Peter and Ned currently occupied. “Hey, Penis! You excited, Parker? Man, I can’t wait to see your face when no one recognizes you. Didn’t you say you knew Spider-Man? Is he gonna be there? Maybe your ‘friend’ can come and tell you about the dangers of lying. After all, Captain America spends plenty of time at the Compound, no doubt his morals have rubbed off on your pal. You should know about Cap’s PSA’s, I heard you had to watch plenty of them during your time in detention at the start of the year.”

Peter clenched his fists, trying not to give Flash the attention he was so obviously begging for. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead into the cracked leather in front of him, doing his best to block out the noise. Judging by the the relatively pissed looks residing on the faces of his fellow classmates, they weren’t in the mood to deal with Flash’s shit today either.

“Come on, Penis, give it up! We all know you’re lying about having an internship. I mean, you’re an idiot. Who would want you?”

Peter continued to tense, just wanting to be off of the stupid bus. He wasn’t that lucky. Peter had been to the Compound dozens of times, and he knew they weren’t even close to arriving yet. There was still a good half an hour left of the ride, and Peter was doing his best to stick it out. Once they got to the Compound, Peter would be able to put some distance between himself and Flash. For now though, he just needed to hold it together.

“Hey Penis, I’m talking to you!” Flags leaned forward a push his shoulder, effectively upsetting the tentative balance Peter had with his face pressed into the seat. He toppled into Ned, startling him.

“Sorry,” Peter mumbled, straightening up again. Ned gave him a small smile before proceeding to give Flash a death glare over the edge of the seat. Thompson just laughed and retreated from the isle, apparently satisfied with his work.

Peter had nearly spaced out, trying not to let Flash’s taunting put him in a foul mood. He was so focused that when Ned tapped him on the shoulder, Peter nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Sorry for startling you. I just download a new playlist to my phone, you wanna listen with me? I mean, it probably won’t sound as good cause you only have one earbud, but like, you get the point.”

Peter gave his friend a weak smile and took the offered earbud. Ned cued up the music and Peter relaxed in the seat, having finally found something to distract him from the many different anxieties bouncing about in his chest.

————————

Ned paused the music. Peter looked up, checking to make sure nothing was wrong. In the absence of the song in his ear, he could hear the excited chatter of the students swell to a barely containable buzz. One glance out out the window explained why. The bus had just pulled into the Compound visitor lot. They had arrived.

————————

As the group shuffled through the doors, Peter couldn’t help but relax a little. Sure, the trip had plenty of chances for disaster, but the Compound was practically a second home to him. While he was inside these walls, Peter felt safe. (Well, safe-ish. It varied from moment to moment depending on which Avengers were there, and how many of them there were. The whole team together meant nothing but chaos. Fun, sure, but chaos none the less.)

Mr. Harrington gathered the class in a large clump near the receptionist desk. After a few seconds spent shushing the group, he made sure he had each and every student’s attention. “Ms. Warren’s class will be here soon, the second bus is a little late. However, that gives me some time to go over what I expect of you guys today.”

Peter sighed and slid his backpack off of his shoulder, setting it in the ground. From what he could tell, this was going to be a decently long lecture about responsibility and all that stuff, and he wasn’t about to hold onto his bag for longer than necessary. He and Ned were at the back of the group, Ned because he was so amazed by the _entrance_ to the Compound that he was practically in shock, and couldn’t process enough to push his way to the front, and Peter because he didn’t really want to be there. 

“...Being here is a privilege, and I want you guys to remember that. I want you to have fun and enjoy yourselves, but remember, this is still a field trip. Anything you do reflects back on our school and I would prefer that we’re able to come back again sometime in the future. That being said...”

Peter checked out, unable to focus on Mr. Harrington’s bland speech any longer. He attempted to block out the monotonous drone, as well as the unwavering chatter around him.

This being said, Peter was so focused on blocking it out to avoid death by boredom that he failed to hear the faint screech of a vent opening high, high above them. Silently, an arrow shot out of the opening, burrying itself into the side of Peter’s bag. The arrow was attached to a cable, and was quickly wound up again, taking the backpack with it. 

Peter stood in the back of the group, tapping his foot and fidgeting with anticipation, completely unaware of the rather odd take on fishing going on above him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ll get into the pranks soon, I swear. Also, I have a few ideas but I could always use more material, so if you guys have any idea as to what you want Team Birdbrain to do to Peter please share. Thanks for your patience with me being stupid, I’m trying my bestist, I swear. Thanks for all of your attention! Luv y’all!


	4. Step 4: Lose Your ID

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Sam’s shenanigans begin, and Peter is really not enjoying it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I’m back! Sorry I took so long to update, my motivation kinda died and then I got busy with work and reading other stuff. Kept forgetting to actually work on my own project instead of just reading everyone else’s! :) It’s not my favorite chapter ever, but it’s something. Also I don’t think it’s too long, it’s hard to tell. Sorry if it is. Enjoy!
> 
> Also! Thank you thank you thank you guys for 400 Kudos! That’s actually crazy, and y’all are lovely. I appreciate all ur support and feedback! :)

Clint carefully pulled the backpack through the opening of the vent, doing his best to avoid any noise. Didn’t want to alert Spidey-Boy’s super senses downstairs. He pulled open the bag, rifling through its meager contents. A couple books, lunch, some lose pencils... was that the kid’s suit? 

Clint struggled to hold in his laugh. The fact that Peter’s identity was still a secret was insane, considering how easy it would be for anyone to figure it out at this point. Clint couldn’t help but be slightly impressed. He moved the spandex aside and found was he was looking for. 

Peter’s “intern” badge. The badge wasn’t actually for an intern, the clearance level alone would tell anyone that. Stark had just given it to the kid to keep up appearances. (And to avoid having to physically move to go get the kid every time he showed up at the tower.) Clint wrapped the red, blue, and black lanyard around his wrist and zipped up the bag, giving it a quick shake to settle the contents back down.

With careful aim, the backpack was lowered back down to the floor, landing with a soft thump behind Peter’s feet. Clint pressed a button to remotely release the arrow, and wound it back up, leaving poor, oblivious Parker none the wiser.

Clint slid his way through the vents, so slow he nearly lost his patience. The only thing keeping him from banging around the building was his dedication to the plan.

Finally out of what Barton assumed to be the range of Peter’s hearing, he sped up his progress and pressed a finger to the comm in his ear.

“I got it. Heading back to the lounge for Phase 2.”

Clint could practically hear Sam’s grin. “Copy. I’ll meet you there. The glitter cannon is almost ready.”

Clint kicked out the vent covering in a nearby hallway and stealthily dropped to the ground. He glanced down at the ID in his hand, Peter’s face looking back at him. 

A shit-eating grin split Clint’s face as he made a mad dash for the private elevator that led to the Avenger’s floors.

———————

After what seemed like years, Ms. Warren’s class entered the Compound, effectively ending Mr. Harrington’s drawl about safety and responsibility. No one had been paying attention anyway. (Except Betty Brant, who had been furiously writing down every single word that had left anyone’s mouth since they entered the building.)

The other class melded with theirs, effectively doubling the cacophony of voices bouncing off of the high ceilings. Mr. Harrington left for the receptionist desk, and just a minute or so later returned with a grinning tour guide. There were two boxes of Visitor IDs in her hands.

“Hello Midtown! We’re so glad you’re here today. My name is Mary Hudson, and I’m your tour guide for the day.” She gave them a brilliant-if not a little forced-smile. The low rumble of voices had died down when Mrs. Hudson began speaking, but flared up again when she held  
up the boxes. The excitement in the room was practically tangible, which Peter thought was a bit overboard. It was just badges after all. Nothing special.

“I’m going to give these badges to your teachers to hand out. Each badge is only active while you are in this building. Once you leave, they will be voided and unusable. This is because each person can only have one badge active at a time, for security purposes. This way, they are merely souvenirs after the tour has ended.” She handed the boxes to Ms. Warren and Mr. Harrington, who began to call out names. Kids maneuvered their way through the overexcited crowd to claim their ID.

Ned leaned over to Peter. “Hey Peter, don’t you already have one of those?” He gestured toward the box in Mr. Harrington’s hands. Peter snapped out of his boredom induced daze. 

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Should probably grab that.” He went to swing his bag off of his shoulder, only to find that it wasn’t there. Panic coursed through his veins. His _suit_ was in there! “Ned, where’s my backpack?!” Ned looked back at him, confused by Peter’s sudden outburst.

He pointed at the floor behind Peter’s feet. “Dude chill, it’s right there. You set it down, remember?”

Peter’s ears turned red. “Oh, whoops. Forgot about that. My bad.” He spun around and scooped up the bag, rifling through it just as Clint had moments before. This time however, there wasn’t a badge at the bottom of the bag.

Peter was confused. Where was it? He had definitely remembered to bring it with this morning, May had told him to go get it. The only reason he wouldn’t have the badge would be that he had somehow lost it along the way. Dread coated Peter’s insides. The ID could be anywhere. The most likely spot would be at school, where he had emptied the majority of his bag. What if someone took it at school? Was it on the bus?! Peter began to panic. Mr. Stark would lose it if he lost it again. Not only that, but-

“Now that everyone has a badge, we will be heading through security. Please scan it and step through quickly so we can get this tour started. I will answer any questions while we wait for everyone to pass through.”

Peter’s stomach sank even more. He didn’t have his badge. He needed said badge to get through security with his class. The tour lady had specifically said that a person couldn’t activate more than one pass at a time, which meant he couldn’t just ask for a new one.

What the heck was he going to do?

The group of kids was dwindling, filing their way through to the other side of security. Ned turned around when he realized Peter was still hanging back.

“You ok man?”

Peter shook his head vigorously, backpack clutched in his hands. “I can’t find it!”

Ned looked puzzled. “Find what?”

“My badge! You know, the really important one that lets me into the building so I can go on this stupid field trip?!” He rambled, anxiety getting the better of him. Ned looked concerned, apparently getting his point. “What do I do Ned?”

Ned looked around the lobby. Most of the kids were through the security gate already. MJ was waiting to go through and caught Ned’s eye. She waltzed over, looking as bored as ever, although there was a flicker of amusement in her eyes. “What are you losers freaking out about? You look like the world is about to end.”

Peter looked sheepish. “It’s- it’s really nothing MJ. We’re all good. Great. Everything is just fine-“

“Peter lost his ID badge for work and can’t get through security.”

“Ned!”

MJ raised a judgmental eyebrow. “Smooth Parker. Why don’t you just talk to reception?”

Peter and Ned stared at her. “That’s...“ Peter mumbled, “Actually a good idea. Ok, I’ll do that.” He marched off towards the front desk, determination set on his shoulders. 

MJ watched him go. “I’ll explain to the tour guide, you take Mr. Harrington.” Ned just nodded in affirmation, and the two split off, ready to cover for the walking disaster that was their best friend. 

Peter kept his ears tuned into the tour guide’s speech and his classmates’ conversations. 

“...the different access levels of the badges are important because it adds an extra level of security. Those who work here can only go to their designated places of work, which helps avoid distraction and theft.”

“What level do the Avengers have?” Someone asked.

“Well, considering this is their compound, they have full access. The access levels are indicated by colors on your badges. Visitors are Level 1 Blue. R&D has a range of Levels, depending on-”

“Can I help you?”

Peter’s focus on the classes and the guide broke when the receptionist spoke. He looked down. She was new, or just never worked at nights when Peter was there, because he didn’t recognize her. He smiled awkwardly. “Uh, yeah. I work here- intern, actually, and I kinda lost my badge. I swear it wasn’t on purpose, but it was like high level and it’s kinda bad that it’s gone cause I need it for my field trip over there.”

The receptionist glanced over to where the group was beginning to leave the room. She gave him a polite smile in return. “Well, let me see what I can do. In the meantime, feel free to sit down and wait over there.”

She gestured towards the decently comfortable waiting area. Peter mumbled his thanks and walked over, collapsing into an arm chair. The field trip had barely begun, and it was already a disaster. No doubt that Flash was going to have plenty to say about this when Peter rejoined the group. _If_ he rejoined the group.

He sighed, and let his head fall back against the wall. He thought about everything that had happened since he walked through the doors of the Compound. Thinking of the tour guide’s words as she led the class away, he couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit better about the situation.

Sure, his badge was gone, but at least his class would be gone when he went through security. His all access badge would’ve raised _way_ more questions than Peter was equipped to handle, being the terrible liar that he was.

With nothing better to do, Peter tipped his head back and fell into a light sleep.

—————————

Wanda was making her way through the Compound to the communal kitchen on the common room floor. Vis had asked for her help with cooking, because he was hopeless at it despite having access to the entirety of the internet. You’d think he’d watch a YouTube video or _something_.

She rounded the corner of an empty hallway, and glanced out the window onto the grounds. The woods up here were calming, and she liked their beauty. It kind of reminded her of home. 

She turned her attention back to the hallway and was nearly scared out of her wits when Clint rocketed out of one of the ceiling vents, cackling maniacally. She watched with round eyes as he rolled to his feet and took off down the hall. He had some sort of lanyard in his hand, and he was mumbling something about glitter.

Wanda stayed frozen, her eyes filling the archers form as he disappeared around the corner. She paused for a moment, and then looked up to the ceiling.

“Friday, can you tell Vis that I’ll have to postpone our cooking? I have something to take care of.”

**Of course Ms. Maximoff.**

“Could you tell me where Nat is?”

**Ms. Romanoff is currently working out in the training room.**

“Thank you.”

Wanda headed towards the elevator. If anyone knew what to do when it came to Clint, it would be Nat. He was up to something, and Wanda was starting to fear for the safety of everyone in the Compound.

————————

Peter dozed. The receptionist didn’t interrupt him, apparently unable to help. The minutes passed, and Peter’s class was getting further and further into the tour. 

Someone sat down next to him with a soft thump, startling him awake. He jumped, scrambling to sit up to figure out who the heck it was. The whole lobby was filled with empty seating, so said person was next to him for a reason.

“Uh... hey, do you, need something?” He was still kinda fuzzy from his power nap, and social interaction wan not one of Peter’s strong suits to begin with.

The person turned towards him and pulled down the hood of the sweatshirt they were wearing. Peter relaxed considerably. “Oh. Hey Auntie Nat.”

She gave him small but genuine smile, leaning back to copy his posture. “How’s the field trip going, little Spider?”

Peter let out a sigh, slumping in his seat. “It’s not. I lost my ID badge and now I can’t get through security. I don’t get it though! I brought it with me, so where is it?” He pouted.

Nat just quirked an eyebrow, looking faintly amused. She stuck her hand into her pocket and pulled out his lanyard, dropping it unceremoniously into his lap. He bolted upright, snatching the badge. Nat laughed quietly.

“Where did you get this?! Was it on the floor?” He squinted at her suspiciously. “Did you take it?”

Nat shook her head, unperturbed by the accusation. 

“Well, where was it?” He asked, slipping the lanyard around his neck.

Nat just leaned back in her chair. “Did you try the vents?”

Peter squinted at her, confused. Seconds later, it hit him. _Clint._ He groaned, putting his head in his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees. _Of course_ it was Clint.

He peeked over at Nat, who was watching his anguish with an amused expression. “Thanks,” Peter mumbled from within his hands. “How’d you get it back anyway? And how’d you know he took it?”

Nat waved him off. “Wanda found him being suspicious and got me. Smart girl. We suspended him from the ceiling by his underwear until he gave it up. Wasn’t too hard.”

Peter chuckled. “Well, thanks.” He smiled at her. Nat was the best.

She reached out and ruffled his hair, despite his protests. “No problem, baby.” Peter pushed her off.

She stood up, scanning the lobby. Peter followed suit, scooping his bag off of the floor.

Nat headed towards the elevator, and Peter followed, scanning his newly recovered badge as he did so. Friday greeted him, and he shouted a “Morning Fri!” back.

He jumped into the elevator, Nat closing the doors behind him. “Your class is just getting to R&D, maybe already in the science labs. I think Bruce is with them, won’t be too hard to find.” Peter nodded, relived that the day was finally getting back on track.

“Pete, I did my best to shame Clint, but knowing him and Sam-because they’re obviously in this together-the pranks are most likely gonna last all day. Stay alert. Those Birdbrains have probably been planning this since last week.”

Peter nodded, giving her a quick hug before the elevator doors opened again. “Thanks Nat.”

She smiled, squeezing him back. “Anytime, little Spider.” She pointed down the hall, towards the science labs. “Your class should be that way. I’m going to go hunt down Sam before they piss off Tony so much that we have to deal with a murder investigation.”

Peter laughed and waved before turning to head down the hall towards the lab. He heard Nat press the button, and the doors began to close. He hadn’t taken two steps before a loud bang echoed down the hall. He froze. That wasn’t good.

The elevator dinged and Nat stepped out again. “I guess I don’t need to go looking for Sam. Sounds like we already found him.”

Peter glanced at her, and they both took off down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I can say about the next chapter is this: Glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.


End file.
